Often we think of the things we don't say enough. Usually it is the "I love you", "I miss you", "You're important to me" kind of things. But sometimes there are other things we don't say enough, things we think are best left unsaid, or things that perhaps seem pointless saying.
I'm in pain.
I feel alone.
I feel like a stranger looking in on the outside.
I feel like I don't really know you.
I don't know who you are anymore.
I am angry.
What is the point?
Why am I bothering?
The list of unsaid questions is, in my opinion, endless. Sometimes I wonder if the connectiveness we feel thanks to the wonderful world of the internet has led to a greater disconnection amongst people. There used to be a time when, if you hadn't caught up with someone for a while, you picked up a phone or <gasp> you made the effort to actually physically stop by and see them. Now, you open a browser and jump onto Facebook. Or you click a few links, type in a few things, and read whats going on in their lives through a forum or journal. Don't get me wrong, I like facebook. I have a FB page and I check it regularly. I use it to keep in touch with friends who are living interstate or OS, who I can't simply stop in and visit. But if you asked me what was happening in the lives of my 'apparent best friends' I couldn't have told you if I hadn't read about it in their blog. These were people I used to catch up with at least weekly, if not more often. And now weeks go by at a time before I see or hear from them, and I generally only work out whats been happening with them by reading about it online.
It's not their fault. It's not my fault. It's just the way things seem to be now. It's just how we have 'advanced' along with technology. And no, the irony that I am writing this in an online blog is not lost upon me. Perhaps I should go back to hand written journaling...